If this sounds familiar, you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.
“I’m really surprised I keep seeing people attacking preachers. Are preachers perfect? Are you perfect? Let’s make a Facebook page to talk about you every day. I don’t know what ministry God created to talk about preachers. I’m not defending people doing things wrong. If you’re the mouthpiece of God, can you remember one scripture where Jesus was out condemning preachers? We have a generation who thinks they love God, but don’t know him.”
This is what coercive control looks like in church. I want to look at this through both scripture and the lens of coercive control, a framework developed by sociologist Evan Stark.
Stark defines coercive control as:
“Coercive control is a pattern of behavior which seeks to take away the victim’s liberty or freedom and to strip away their sense of self.”
This model was originally developed to describe intimate partner abuse, but it’s now widely used to understand control dynamics in:
- Cults and high-control religious groups
- Authoritarian church or ministry leadership
- Human trafficking and grooming systems
We are going to examine how this quote exhibits several markers of coercive control - and how it contradicts the call of Jesus to protect, not manipulate, His people.
How does this model apply to the above quote?
1. Isolation
“Let’s make a Facebook page about you every day.”
Tactic: Uses sarcasm and mockery to shame public accountability. This isolates dissenters by labeling them as vengeful or immature.
Impact: Survivors are discouraged from sharing their stories, knowing they will be publicly ridiculed or shamed, even if not by name, the congregation knows who is being talked about, which can further isolate victims from their loved ones, keeping people trapped in the system.
2. Shaming and Identity Erosion
“Are you perfect?”
“This generation thinks they love God but don’t know him.”
Tactic: Moral reversal. Shifts blame from abusive leaders to critics by attacking their character and even their salvation.
Impact: Survivors begin to doubt their own faith, memory, or motives. The abuser becomes the arbiter of who really “knows God.”
3. Narrative Control
“I’m not defending people doing things wrong…”
Tactic: Presents as neutral or balanced, but is used to reframe legitimate concerns as personal attacks, and redirect attention away from abuse. It seizes control of the story by:
- Minimizing harm
- Questioning the motives of the accuser
- Recasting leadership as misunderstood or victimized
Impact: Survivors begin to doubt their own perceptions, feel spiritually disqualified, and may even defend the group against their own instincts. Bystanders learn that speaking out = betrayal, it's a victim-perpetrator role reversal.
4. Monopolizing Interpretation
“What ministry did God create to talk about preachers?”
“Can you remember one scripture where Jesus condemned preachers?”
Tactic: Rewrites theological norms to shield leadership from scrutiny. Suggests that speaking out = unbiblical.
Impact: Scripture becomes a tool of suppression. Victims feel spiritually disqualified or condemned for speaking truthfully. Yet, Acts 17 encourages critical evaluation of teaching, and Jesus himself calls out “preachers” in front of crowds in Matthew 23.
5. Fear of Retaliation
Implied: If you question the leader, you’re “attacking God’s anointed,” spiritually immature, or even unsaved.
Tactic: Embeds spiritual threats within everyday speech. You won’t be “called out,” but you’ll be “talked about.” You won’t be physically punished, but you’ll be ostracized or spiritually shamed.
Impact: The fear of social exile and divine disfavor makes it difficult, sometimes impossible for survivors to leave or speak up.
6. Erosion of Autonomy
Cumulative Effect: By mocking public speech, erasing boundaries between God and leaders, and redefining criticism as rebellion, the quote reinforces an environment where:
- Only leaders may speak with authority
- Followers must submit and stay silent
- Faith becomes conflated with obedience to the system
Result: A person loses the right to interpret scripture, confront injustice, or form relationships outside the sanctioned circle, all without a single overt “rule” being stated.
Why It Matters (Biblically)
Coercive control in church systems is antithetical to Jesus’s leadership.
Jesus:
- Defended the abused (John 8)
- Publicly rebuked corrupt leaders (Matthew 23)
- Modeled servant leadership (John 13:14-15)
Jesus said it best himself….
Matthew 23:27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
- Authored by Derek Johnson