I didn't imagine my life having this story.
I don’t think any of us do. I’ve said before that people in cults don’t know they’re in a cult.
That was me, for 9 long years.
How did I get there?
Entering a Cult
I had a friend invite me over the years during high school, but I declined most of the time and only joined on a few occasions for youth group. It wasn’t until I was entering my senior year of high school at 17 that I was quickly hitting rock bottom. I know, rock bottom sounds extreme for a 17-year-old, but it’s what I felt at the time and there were a lot of things that I didn’t know how to properly handle. Anyway, my friend always seemed to have joy in her despite life not always being fair to her, so I craved the joy she had.
I began attending on Sundays, and I quickly went from 0 to 100.
I gave my life to Christ three times in a row because I hadn’t been told that once was enough. I began going to the weekly life groups on Tuesdays and then signed up to go to an Encounter.
Encounter Weekend:March 2012
It’s described as a three-day retreat where you get to “meet God face to face”. The hype around it was intense as everyone pushed encounters as the best thing they had ever done. As a 17-year-old carrying daddy issues, I needed something to change. So, I thought this would be it. I would give it my all. I went to my Encounter, gave it all I had, and they were right. I did not come back the same. I’ll make a separate blog post diving further into what an Encounter is, and what is taught.
After my encounter in March of 2012, the same year I was graduating high school, I decided I would stay in town to finish my discipleship classes. I can remember talking to my mom about this, her disappointment was huge but it’s what I felt God was calling me to do. She wasn’t a Christian at the time and didn’t understand anything I was saying. In fact, anything I said about church she hated.
Little did I know that my independence was slowly being stripped away by this church already. Aside from truly wanting to finish my discipleship classes, I had a lot of fear. What if I backslid? What if I stopped being a Christian like they’ve said happens to others in college. I had this new love for God that I didn’t want to imagine jeopardizing just for college. I would be safe with the church; I would be fine.
So, I continued my discipleship classes at the church and began attending a community college in our town. My life began to revolve around the church in the name of God. I was going through the discipleship classes, began serving, attending life group, getting involved, and giving the little money I had.
I met my husband the following year at church, we got married within a year of dating, and the routine continued. Serving, giving, leading, attending. Over and over and over. That was our life, and the church shaped our priorities.